June 29, 2007
You’ll have to forgive me please
This brief dearth of any substantial writing brought to you by a one-time gig writing something for These Jerks.
Meanwhile, stay tuned for another steak mosaic and maybe I’ll drag something out of the pile of Drafts stinking up the place.
June 26, 2007
Steak Mosaic 6/26/07
|
1. Cara had steak, 2. Raw, 3. Steak Frites, |
June 20, 2007
Grill Right Wireless Talking BBQ/Oven Thermometer
Longtime fans of SteakFeed should know, we’re not exactly gung-ho gadget freaks when it comes to preparing steaks well. As a matter of fact, we seem to even disdain using any kind of thermometer at all. Snobs that we are, you’d totally not be surprised to find us mocking the following:
Grill Right Wireless Talking BBQ/Oven Thermometer.
Here’s the problem, according to the product marketing literature: they want you to act like “[there's n]o need to wait by the grill to find out when dinner is ready—this wireless thermometer verbally alerts you when the meat has reached the perfect temperature.
First of all, out of curiosity, I’m going to try getting my hands on one of these for a field test. I really want to find out what kind of voice they choose for a talking thermometer.
Second of all, what??
Imagine your dad: “No need to wait by the grill?!? Oh golly! I’ll just trundle my fat dad-ass down to the workshop and fire up the old Dremel set. Maybe see if I can finish off some of the expressive detailing on the animatronic, Lucite Hansel and Gretel cuckoo clock while the fish grills!”
Your mother: “Stanley! Get back here right this minute! You know better than anyone the signal range on that goddamn piece of metallic crap is far less than 330 feet in practice given the various construction materials and techniques used to build this cantilevered deck and rec-room addition!! You’ll never receive even an “out of range” alarm!”
Meanwhile, the halibut cheeks good ol’ Dad threw on have become about as tender and flaky as those of a Le Mans-era Steve McQueen.
What I’m saying is, except in the rare case when you’re doing a long-haul, actual Bar-Be-Cue of a large cut of meat like a brisket or a whole turkey… just effing stand there by the grill in your Bermuda shorts, holding a Tom Collins and monitor things yourself. You deserve the knowledge, experience, and quality robbed from you by over-dependence on wireless talking pieces of crap. And for the last time, get that damn Bluetooth thing out of your ear. You look like a robot.
June 19, 2007
Cows Unite
Apparently, cows “want” to walk around in the sunshiny green meadows, and to not be treated like machines.
I wonder if they also “feel resentment” about being cut up and grilled?
Whatever your point of view (and I hope you’re here because your point of view is that you really, really love to eat the bountiful goodness provided for our health and pleasure by God’s wonderous creation, Cattle) … I just want to say, they’re talking about DAIRY cows. It’s DAIRY cows who are trying to band together to demand better working conditions in the production of MILK! This has 100% NOTHING whatsoever to do with the cattle whose sole purpose on this earth is as a vessel for the conversion of vegetable matter into life-giving beefsteak which brings us closer to holiness.
Thank you very much,
The SteakFeed Team.
June 18, 2007
trump
|
I can’t believe this. I have to try them! I’ve contacted the retailer (www.sharperimage.com — D’oh!) |
Well, here we are.
I’m not sure you’ll notice, unless you take your cue from the empty cartons laying around and the stale odor, but we’ve just recently come up at some new hosting digs.
Yeah, the place is looking a little bit of a shambles. That big ugly green box across the top; the logo hanging out one of the side windows; the little doodads and crap that have settled back down into a jumble on the bottom floor.
But we’ll get the grill fired up here pretty soon, and tidy up a bit. We think you’ll like it here a little bit better. It’s faster, for sure. And we have a bunch more flexibility with what we can do. We might even put up a Steak Wiki out back, who knows?
Keep us in your thoughts, drop by for a drink and to socialize every now and then.
June 15, 2007
Steak Mosaic 6/15/07
1. Caesars Palace - Nero’s ribeye steak, 2. Steak me, 3. MMMM Meaty, 4. Another cow, 5. Breaking Diet / Mmm Steak / Day 7, 6. BBQ Orgy.., 7. F*ck You Disgusting Flesh Ads!, 8. YES, I’m Hungry!, 9. Beer and Steak, 10. A friend. Wibaux, Montana., 11. schteak, 12. Project365-097
Steak Mosaic 6/15/07
Originally uploaded by Quacky
Created with fd’s Flickr Toys.
scouting the myspace blogs, pt.4
Guitar Dynamics: What did the pork chop say to the steak?Nice to meat you!
Quiet These Paintings Are: what the f*ck dan
Soldier For The Broken : So today was our Free Steak dinner that we got at Jack’s for hitting $30,000.
Currently watching :
Another Gay Movie
Release date: By 21 November, 2006
For Father’s Day, Get Him What He Wants Most: Steak and Beer!
If your dad’s anything like mine, he tells you that he wants absolutely nothing for Father’s Day. What he really means is that he just doesn’t want to see YOU on Father’s Day.
Seriously. Happy Father’s Day, dads. Eat a steak!