steakFEED

Bend over Abigail May is the title of the blog post pointing out this insane steak rant by one of my most favorite awesome comedians, Patton Oswalt. It’s dirty and loud and you most definitely need headphones, especially if at work or with children or grandmothers around.

“Every time you eat a steak, a hippie’s hackey-sack goes down the sewer.” –P.O.

and one more time, let’s hear it for totally rad food scumbags at Grocery Eats

My Damn Channel » Cookin with Coolio » #2 Fork Steak & Heavenly Ghettalian Garlic Bread

Good Eatin: A Steak Toaster. Did You Hear Me? I Said a Steak Toaster
Why make a whole production out of it? What you need, my friend, is a steak toaster.

Fuck You Disgusting Flesh Ads! on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

This personal form of activisim I find quite interesting.

Take a picture of yourself giving the finger to stuff you hate, like Steak.

[update: 2/28/08, veganbutterfly removed this most evocative and compelling picture. boo hoo!]

I have found the best little blog. I’m reading the whole thing today.

It’s called WhiteWhine.com

Here’s the greatest steak whine ever:

Complaint #23
“We never have seafood anymore, it’s always steak, steak, steak.”
August 7, 2007

Items from various places [old but interesting]:

• What steakhouses reveal about the weakness of the U.S. economy - Slate Magazine
• craftsteak: simplicity « just hungry.
• Recipes : Gaucho Rib-Eye Steaks : Food Network
• cupcake club: Where’s the beef? ( about a band called Palace Family Steakhouse )

Apparently, cows “want” to walk around in the sunshiny green meadows, and to not be treated like machines.

I wonder if they also “feel resentment” about being cut up and grilled?

Whatever your point of view (and I hope you’re here because your point of view is that you really, really love to eat the bountiful goodness provided for our health and pleasure by God’s wonderous creation, Cattle) … I just want to say, they’re talking about DAIRY cows. It’s DAIRY cows who are trying to band together to demand better working conditions in the production of MILK! This has 100% NOTHING whatsoever to do with the cattle whose sole purpose on this earth is as a vessel for the conversion of vegetable matter into life-giving beefsteak which brings us closer to holiness.

Thank you very much,
The SteakFeed Team.

Our gmail <steakfeed AT gmail.com > has gone astray. In all honesty, we forgot we had it and never went to read it.

Now we find that a few of you have written. We apologize, and promise it will never happen again.

Now then… what was it you were saying? You want to Write For Us?

Hats of Meat

Because it’s a classic.

Steak Feed :: MEAT CAKE :: August :: 2006 Steak Feed

Reposted in recognition of Dethroner’s Bachelor Party Week

psst. I have a question for you, it’s not right for the bride-to-be to put limits on what kind of fun stuff I can do for the wedding+reception is it? Like: “Top hat or meat cake. but not both!” I mean, yeah yeah. It’s her special day and all that claptrap. But, it’s fricken my special day too, right? I can put Judas Priest in the after-dinner playlist, right??

I found this one on the internet, from one of those Technorati blog search engines. It’s a real stinker, and I’m trying to improve on it by converting it to a regional, self-deprecating form I’m familiar with from my youth (that’s yoot with a silent H) in Minnesota

So, one day, Sven and Ole went up to The Norseman to have some supper. Lena comes by (she’s the waitress, see?) and she serves up the boys two fried steaks. Quick as can be, Ole picks up the bigger steak for himself.

Sven, he wasn’t too pleased about that. He says, “Ole, when are you going to learn to be polite, eh?”

Ole frowns a little bit, and then he says “Well, Sven. If you were to be the one that had the chance to pick first, which of these steaks would you have chosen, then?”

Sven says, “Of course I’d have picked the smaller steak, ya know?”

“Well then, Sven,” says Ole. “Quit your belly-achin’. The smaller steak is the one you wanted, right?”

Nerd Approved - News and Reviews - »
T-Bone Steak Meat Cuddler

On the one hand, I think, $20 for a nine inch steak?! WTF? It’s not even a steak you can cook or eat. Why would you pay twenty bucks for it, right?

But then I got to thinking, maybe since it’s soft and cuddly, you could do other things with it? It certainly won’t spoil, and it probably wouldn’t ever be used up, depending on what you do with it. Maybe a more durable steak would be worth twenty bucks? I’m just not sure.

On the other hand, isn’t it a little bit discomforting that the steak has a face? Mister Steak on the streets of Hong Kong doesn’t really even have a face, especially not a stupid googly-eyed face like this guy. How could you eat a guy with this face?

Robert J. Bolesta : an alphabet made of packages of ground beef. Most likely not steak, but red and meaty nonetheless.

I had to do something with this because it’s very current. And it is one of those canonical Days that the internet has basically created; a holiday, thought up and popularized purely through “word of mouth” by people typing at one another on computers.

Tomorrow, March 14th, is Steak and a Bl*wJ*b Day. I think they’ve had this for two years now. However, if you read through the blogger snippets referencing the thing on Technorati, you realize that basically anyone writing about it is only just hearing about it.

I really love the sassy and sensual writeup at
FTLOC&C (site might offend yer mom). Sounds like she had a bit of a struggle with the steaks, but I’ve gotta give her props for trying!